The names in the below have been changed for privacy, but every Catholic reading this will know exactly who I'm talking about ;)

Now what would a Catholic wedding be without Marriage Classes? Less interesting, that's what. Jeffrey and I, along with about 7 other couples dedicated two full rainy October days to marriage classes. Never mind we hadn't seen each other in months, and the weather was prime 'snuggle' weather, and Jeffrey was only here for 4 days, we suited up, and presented ourselves at marriage class. There we were met by two of the cutest Philipino couples in the world, and a table full of junk food (and the much less popular fruit platter). We arrived late in our usual fashion and were directed to the front of the class.

The days started out with a prayer, and each couple was handed a workbook. The sessions, as much they were about us, and our future lives together, were astonishingly also a lot about the presenting couples. We learned about John's porn addiction and affinity to gambling which he brought into their marriage, how Maria longed for her long gone 37 chest, 26 waist, and 36 hips (there was photographic evidence for those in doubt), how there were suspicions among the Phillipino community that Martin may have been 'a gay' (his love for 'Sex in the City' had some of us in the class wondering too'), how Maria's sexual prowess blossomed in her forties, and how the letter 'F' must be a 'P' in the Phillipino language. There was a lot we learned in those two days, not so  much about ourselves, we had already figured those parts out, but I'll never be able to look at John and Maria the same again when I see them in the aisles of Fosters.

The workbook had various sections, communication, faith, sexuality, future kids etc. etc. We went through each questionnaire and discussed the answers. A few examples;

Q: How do I feel about discussing your past relationships?

A: Kind of stopped caring about them, so long ago

Q: When I first met you what did I like / dislike?

A: like - your body, dislike - nothing, took years to figure that out

Once we are married, I have a right to your body - True (that one was a joke... i hope)

My ideal house is:

Not sure, but can we have a breadfruit tree in the back?

As much as we played the fool, we thoroughly enjoyed the presenting couples' stories of homophobia, porn, and fulfilliing sex lives after forty. We also spent wholesome time discussing our relationship, and potential issues that may arise in the future. The class wrapped up with a group session on why we think each other is the right person. We were last in the class, everyone had stories about aging parents, wanting to have children, life threatening illnesses, intense passion. Our time finally came around, and it's astonishing the things you find cute when you're in love. Jeff's answer, pale by conventional standards to the rest went something like this "We're really close, it's like having a sister... or cousin that you're really attracted to" You all are probably going ewww, but inside I'm going awwww, he hit the nail on the head.

Many people have asked me, "Why did you choose that date?" Well, there are many factors in why this date was chosen, factors which will be less meaningful to those travelling from far and wide (or not because the date has prevented them from doing so) than to myself.

I have few pet peeves in life, but attending a wedding and being expected to dress formally in the middle of summer heat in Cayman is one of them. There's nothing worst than leaving your house beautiful only to be reduced to a sweaty mess hours later attempting to stay cool while convincing yourself that no part of your body can touch any other part of your body as that will only increase your temperature and increase the sweatiness.

Those of you who have experienced a Cayman summer know exactly what I'm talking about. I'll also add that Cayman summers span from early April to late September (conservatively). With that said along with the fact that Jeffrey is off achieving his personal goals which automatically rules out the majority of the "cool" months I had little choice.

My options were

1. Subject my guests to the excrutiating heat the exists in Cayman between April and September

2. Do it during Christmas

3. Put it off another year (which from the first blog entry you can imagine I was not keen on)

The first option seemed just rude, think of it as an outdoor wedding in February in Toronto, but the opposite. The third I was not a fan of at all, so I went with the second. A public holiday in the coolest time of year on a day that in my imagination I envisaged being a good time to celebrate one's anniversary.

Unfortunately that means it has made it impractical, expensive and even impossible for some people to attend, for which I take full responsibility and offer my sincere apology. As much as I would love for everyone to come, I understand if my date does not work for you. But no worries, it's not about the wedding, it's about the marriage, so if you fall into the category of persons who cannot attend, please think of us on that day, wish us well for the future and ensure I have your e-mail so that I can send you a picture.

And for those that can come, I look forward to spending Christmas in Cayman with you! We will fill your bellies with stew beef, sorrel and fruit cake and a few days after you will watch Jeffrey and I dance our first dance, as the cool Cayman Christmas breeze brushes cross your back :)

Jeffrey and I combed literally the entire island looking for a venue that would suite our needs and sense of style. We had exhausted every option and ourselves. Pressure was coming in from the MOB (mother of the bride) and her henchmen (aunts and grandmother) to have it at Pedro's castle were everyone and their mother gets married.

I refused.

I genuinely thought I had a solution. Osetra Bay. The MOB cunningly rejected this option, as

1. It was behind God's back

2. It could not accommodate both my guest list and hers

3. She hadn't heard good reviews about the food

She in her infinite wisdom and talent for manipulation had convinced me that a wedding of less that 100 people is hardly a wedding, and why get the fabulous dress described in the blog above if I wasn't going to show it off.

Jeff and I had been toying with the idea of Royal Palms. No, not the conventional choice, but we're hardly conventional. One Sunday when he was visiting, he, myself and Marcia went for our traditional Sunday lunch which happened to be at my Granny's that day. I had just finished dishing out my food and was about to dig into my fried plantain when I heard "You know Dan Dan, Aunty, Granny and I have been thinking and we need to settle this venue issue once and for all"... It was an ambush.

They began by going over a few options, Aunty had one suggestion, Suzanne had a reason why that couldn't work, Granny drew and X on her placemat and informed me Royal Palms was a no. They all had arguements against my venue of choice. Enough was enough. As dramatically as I could (I was taking a page from Marcia's book) I stood up fork in hand and looked them each in the eye.

"You know, you all have all these ideas of what you want for the wedding, and you seem to have it all worked out but noone cares what Jeff and I want. I'm leaving and all those who came with me let's go"

With that I escorted myself outside and sat in the car waiting for my entourage. They never showed. I later found out that Jeffrey didn't want to disrespect the MOB and the maid of honour was thoroughly enjoying the meal and in hopes of being invited back in the future also stayed put.

I sat in the car, convincing myself to hold my ground and read a magazine when Suzanne (one of my only allies who also happened to be held in high esteem by the MOB) emerged. She walked over to the car smiling and said "It's Royal Palms". Between the three of them (Marcia, Jeffrey and Suzanne) they faught my battle way better than I could have and won. I went back in, thankful that this was all sorted and happy to pick up where I had left off with my plantain and finished the meal.

The MOB came around with persuasion but vowed to ensure the venue was fixed to her standards and ensured this by spending a small fortune on plants for the reception, or at least that's her formal excuse. They're quite happily adorning her garden waiting for their big debut.

It was our first meeting since he left the island to pursue higher education. I found myself in this town I once lived in, surrounded by familiar sights and smells. Bromsgrove, my home for so many years seemed so familiar yet so foreign. I had brought a friend... Marcia (Maid of honour). We shared so much on the rock, now my best friend got to see the other side of my life... Canada. Jeff was not quite as enthusiastic as I was to have Marcia there, as although he genuinely liked her he was looking forward to having me all to himself.

We spent a few days sight seeing, Niagra falls, vineyards, CN tower etc, but I had set aside some time to try on a dress that I was eyeing on the internet. I can't remember the designer, but after my less that impessive experience at Kleinfeld from TLC's "Say Yes to the dress" I did not have high hopes.

And rightfully so, I tried on the dress that I had spend so much time looking at on the internet, just to be disappointed. With that said I started trying on different dresses, it became more fun than a quest. Marcia and her friend Christelle who drove down from Kingston were having the most fun of all watching me emerge in different styles every few minutes.

I saw one that caught my eye, and tried it on. I liked the design, but not necessarily the shape. If only it had a lower waist i thought aloud. The sales person chimed in "oh, we have something similar with a drop waist". She brought it out, I tried it on and the audience went wild. Marcia being something of a drama queen on the dullest of days had a reaction so intense that I had to double check the mirror. It was in fact a beautiful dress, one catch... way out of my price range.

Good news though, it was on sale. This was the sample... the brand new sample that noone had ever tried on and it was 20% off, still way out of my price range. There had to be a solution to this problem i thought... Daddy.

My father happened to be in Toronto at the same time that I was and I convinced him that he had to come to Mississauga to see this rather expensive masterpiece. He, unconvinced called a few bridal stores and informed me that dresses cost between $500 and $1,500, not what I was asking for at all. I ignored him and made arrangements to try the dress on the next day, and he surprised me and showed up.

I tried on my second favourite, a pretty tulle piece with a purple ribon around the waist. He smiled with no real emotion behind his eyes and I took off the dress. I was unable to gauge his reaction as my father, the opposite of Marcia is not the most emotive of creatures. I was disappointed. I tried on the dress he came to see and his eyes lit up, he leaned forward in his chair, took out his I phone and was in awe. Exactly the reaction I was hoping for!

I had the sales lady explain what he was paying for, this fabric, that hand sewn detail etc. etc. It went in and out the ears, he was already sold... and so was the dress.

It was a Tuesday, lunch time. Jeffrey had just picked me up for lunch from PwC. We ate,  drank, drove around for a while, and eventually parked up. The topic had been on my mind for some while now, and I finally mustered up the courage and asked,

"Do you think we can get married next year?"

Jeffrey turned to me in bewilderment. Next year, it had totally thrown him off guard. Next year seemed so soon, so unrealistic. No, it wasn't the flowers and the dress and the table decorations he was worried about, it was the concept of marriage. Nevermind we had been together for 6 years at this point, lived in two countries together and were totally in love with each other, the man was in shock.

He had things to accomplish before the big "M". He had to be over 30, established, who knows... maybe speak another language. All of these seemingly very valid arguements for his point on why next year was out of the question completely washed over me as I sat in disbelief that he didn't see it coming.

Six years in a relationship and the concept had never dawned on him. There it was left until 2 years later, the day Jeffrey went away to school to accomplish some of those things he had predetermined needed to be done before settling down and getting married. He proposed.